My inner child,
My children, in case you prefer to be thought of in such a way today,
I’m teetering
Back and forth
Between zombie, and not-zombie
ant, and human,
healthy, and less healthy,
ghoul, and not-ghoul,
gendered, nongendered,
trans, not-trans; and more / et plus.
For you, it may be confusing, unsettling
anxiety inducing; a little too
resembling of being low-income and
not-low-income, Cambodian and
American, American and Cambodian;
Chinese, Vietnamese, and maybe even a little French, but also none of those things;
Christian, nott-Christian,
Buddhist, less Buddhist,
not-Jewish, but Jewish, or at least not goy;
in family, but not totally in family;
I understand you.
I can hear you.
I can see you.
I don’t want you to disappear.
I will not make you disappear.
I’m not throwing us back into the fire,
all-sight-consuming flames and feeling-numbing heat; conditions we are familiar with, and that we thus can’t help but find comfortable at least a little bit;
I’m not doing what I’m doing purely out of habit, fear of the unknown, nor uncontrollable impulses;
I’m teetering with intentionality,
I’m teetering with resolve, optimism for the future;
some fear, accompanied by some courageousness;
a sense of reality that is empowered by perspective gained through many moments of experience and quality reflection;
a disposition comparable to yours.
Elohim Essaim, Elohim Essaim, I implore you
Will you look forward to the future with me?
I will ask you time and time again.
You can say no today, yes tomorrow, and wait to give me a reply anytime.
Whatever you choose, I will respect it.
Whatever you choose, I will be with you.
Pasfut Trailblazing 